Sunday, May 29, 2005

Do You Indulge In Retail Therapy? Here is how you can shop without going broke!

Whenever I am depressed, I go shopping. Retail therapy has always been one of my favourite ways to destress.

The lure of the hunt. For that special something that catches your eye, priced unbelievably low, or at such a huge discount. 70% discounts at shops often turn normally lady like women into wild beasts. Everyone grabbing for that last piece from a coveted designer must have, priced at 70%, or even 90% the normal price.

It always works for me.. initially. As long as I can still make ends meet after these binges. I just love the thrill of buying things, and knowing that I got them at below the regular retail prices.

Leave me alone in a mall for 10 minutes, even with 2 preschool kids, I guarantee you. I'd be carrying bags of shopping, kids in tow, when you get back.

There is the thrill of the hunt. Going to a sale, not knowing what fantastic buy you might spot. Then you see it. That coveted designer brand normally beyond your budget, suddenly priced low enough for you to comfortably afford. You try it on. You love the way it looks on you. You buy it. That sense of satisfaction is indescribable. You move on to the next store. That high lasts until you see your credit card bill.

Worse still, those outfits you buy may be worn once or not at all, before you give them away.

It is something like going on an eating binge. You diet for ages trying to lose weight. Then suddenly, you just throw caution to the winds. You eat like a pig, gobbling down all the yummy, calorie laden desserts, snacks and favourite foods you have deprived yourself after so long.

Retail therapy, uncontrolled, can leave you broke. Especially with easy access to credit cards, you can chalk up a major debt if you are not careful.

Still, like calorie laden desserts, you can still indulge in retail therapy and stay within your budget.

Like eating less or even skipping a meal after you binge at a grand buffet, and eating less in the following days after it, you can indulge in retail therapy, if you spend less in the days after it.

There are things you have to buy anyway. Why not focus your retail therapy on what you actually need.

Make a list of the things you actually need.



Do you need a brand new jacket for work, to create a better impression in the board room? You could use your next retail therapy session to hunt down that ideal jacket when you need that boost.

You could even have your retail therapy in your favourite supermarket, buying the food you and your family actually need, sourcing out the deals. Again, make a list of what you actually need and stick to that list when you go shopping.

Or if you spot a gorgeous luxury item like a very expensive bag, you might want to save up for months first before you actually splurge on it. By the time you have saved enough money to buy the bag, you might even have lost interest and could put the money to better use.

The trick here is to spend only what you have. Credit cards give you the illusion you have far more money to spend than you actually have. Buy now pay later is a very dangerous way to think. Many people have ended up bankrupt after that.

Yes, you could always use that card to pay for whatever you want, and then pay the credit card bill in installments for the next few months. Meanwhile, the credit card company gets to make money off you in the interest charges which could be as high as 24% per annum (2% per month adds up to a lot in the long run).

Can't pay the bill in full? Roll it over to the next month. Get another card to pay off some the debt in the old card and more spending power.

Before you know it, your debt is so high, you can't imagine how you could possibly clear away all that debt.

Personally, I am a webmaster with a sometimes uncontrollable urge to splurge. I would usually buy something whenever I step out of my home. Nowadays, I tell myself to hold off the purchase. I can get a better deal on the web.

Retail therapy extends online too. Online stores can offer even better deals than your usual retail store. The brick and motar retails stores have to pay rent for all that shopping space. Online stores have far less overheads and can afford to pass their savings to us. Their customers.

Every now and then, online stores would have discounts of some items, or short term promotions where you can save a substantial amount of money off your order. Some stores even have coupons which you enter into a box when you check out, for free shipping or a certain percentage savings off your purchase. Take your time to make use of these savings and get the most of your online shopping experience. I love buying jewelry online for gifts and I always do it online.

The best part about online stores is that you can take your time to shop, without some pesky sales person trying to pressurize you into buying something you really don't need. Ok, some stores have pesky live help pop up windows, but you can always close those windows so you can shop in peace.

Friday, May 13, 2005

The Five Best Gifts to Give Your Family

When we think of giving gifts, we usually think of things to buy for people. Yet if you think back on gifts you’ve been given, it might not be the material gifts you received that are foremost in your mind – it might be the kind of gifts that deeply touched your heart and soul. It might be various ways, other than material things, that people expressed their love to you.

There are five gifts of love that we can give to our families that can make a huge difference in their lives.

The gift of caring and compassion


We all yearn to feel cared for, yet many of us withhold caring and compassion for others. A profound gift we can give to our loved ones is to listen with our heart, to understand and accept rather than to judge, and to stay open to learning rather than to protect against being hurt.

Think about the last time someone actually listened to you and gave you understanding and acceptance. The feeling of being understood and accepted with caring and compassion is one of the best feelings in the world. Instead of focusing on getting this from others, why not focus on giving it to others? You might be surprised at how wonderful you feel in giving this gift to your family.

The Gift of Courage


One of the best gifts we can give our loved ones is our own courage. This means being having the courage to stand in our truth, to be honest about what we want and don’t want, what we will do and won’t do, what is and what is not acceptable to us. It means having the courage to take good care of ourselves, even if others don’t like it. It means not succumbing to our controlling behaviors that come from fear: anger, withdrawal, compliance, resistance, but instead being honest and above-board about ourselves. It means being willing to face conflict rather than give ourselves up to avoid it.

When we have the courage to face conflict and tell the truth, we not only provide our family with a role model for courage, but we provide opportunities for our loved ones to step up to the plate in the face of our truth and learn to be courageous too.

The Gift of Service


We are on this planet to learn to love ourselves and each other, and to help each other. One of the best gifts we can give our family is to role model this by doing service. Helping others fills the heart and soul in ways that nothing else can. If children do not see their parents doing service and helping others, they may never learn the great joy and fulfillment that comes from giving. One of the best gifts we can give to our family is to provide ways of doing service.

The Gift of Creativity


All of us are born with various ways of expressing our creativity. Expressing creativity is a profound way of connecting with Spirit, since expressed creativity is a direct expression of Spirit. Providing your family with many ways of expressing their creativity is a great gift. Creativity can be expressed in so many ways – cooking, crafts, building things, music, art, movement, telling stories, writing, humor, photography and video – the possibilities are endless! Creative family projects are especially wonderful in creating family closeness.

The Gift of Fun


Lightness of being – fun, joy, laughter, playfulness – is a great gift to give to others. Lightness of being is infectious – our laughter and playfulness can help others take life less seriously and “lighten up.”

Lightness of being is one the results of all the other gifts – of caring, courage, service and creativity. When we give these gifts, we feel a wonderful lightness within, the lightness that is the result of fully giving from the heart. Our own lightness of being can bring lightness into our whole family. Children love it when their parents are playful, funloving and joyful. Laughing together as a family is one of the most precious experiences in life.

We need to focus of giving these gifts each day, not just during a holiday season or special occasions. These gifts are far more important than any material thing we can buy for someone. In fact, we might not be so focused on material gifts if we frequently give the gift of love – of caring, compassion, courage, service, creativity, and lightness of being.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

Frugal Kids' Birthday Party Gifts

Are your kids invited to numerous birthday parties throughout the year? Buying a gift, paper to wrap it in, ribbon and a bow, plus a card every time can get expensive and tiresome, can't it!

Through the years I have discovered some easy ways to save money and time and always be prepared for those invitations.

My three children are older now, but when they were young, it seemed as if one of them was invited to a friend's birthday party almost every week! Usually the invitations didn't arrive until 1 or 2 days before the party. I got really fed up with running to the store in our small town and trying to find an appropriate gift on short notice.

I realised the first thing I needed to do was to get organized. So I set aside a box in the hall closet and started to fill it with gift items suitable for children around my children's ages.

Each time I went to the discount or dollar store, I looked at the clearance sales; especially after Christmas. I tried to keep at least one gift for each child on hand at all times.

I have always loved to make things so I was always on the lookout for anything I could craft that kids would like. One item I came across that the kids really liked was gift jars. I would fill a pint or quart jar (reused mayo or pizza sauce jars) with small items. Some of the things I used were pens, erasers, notepads, small cars, toy soldiers, hair ribbons, stickers, candy, gum. Anything I found that would fit. I would often buy in bulk and divide the items between several jars.

Children love anything with their name on it, so I would paint their name on the side of the jar or cross-stitch it onto a cover for the lid, and I had a great gift!

This idea would also work using recycled boxes or tins. Garage sales are a good place to pick up tins of all sizes and colors. Just spray paint if needed. You don't even have to decorate the top or sides, just wrap ribbon or raffia around the tin and tie a bow on top.

Little girls always enjoy receiving more clothes for their Barbie dolls. If you sew, you can make gifts your daughter's friends will love from your scraps of fabric and lace. And the clothes you make are much better quality than the ones you pay premium prices for in the store.

One last secret to giving great birthday gifts is: remember that children love to open a package! Just taking tissue out of a gift bag is not the same!

But wrapping a package doesn't have to break the bank either. At garage sales, always look for anything that can be used to wrap gifts--wallpaper, drawer liner,even scraps of fabric. Look for yarn and pieces of lace or other trim to use instead of ribbon. In other words, just use your imagination!

Dollar stores are a great place to pick up inexpensive wrapping paper in a pinch. The flat, folded kind is cheaper than buying it on a roll, just cover the creases with ribbon. Kids aren't going to take time to notice, anyway!

Even an inexpensive gift will bring raves from the birthday boy or girl when it's wrapped imaginatively. Tie a lollipop on top or write their name in glitter. Use your imagination and get creative!

Your children will love it when the gift they bring is the hit of the party!
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