And so this is Christmas (well, December 23), and what have you done? Don't tell me - virtually nothing. There are two days to go and you've still got the bulk of your gifts to buy.
When it comes to The Big Shop, there are those who ruthlessly plan ahead by hoovering up all the leftovers in the January sales.
And at the other end of the scale there are those adrenaline junkies who descend on the high street around close of business on Christmas Eve. The chances are, you don't fit into either camp. You had the best of intentions, but time and Christmas parties just got the better of you.
Whatever the reason, there's no need to panic. Use the next two days to do The Big Shop. Trust me, that's plenty of time.
My friends and family reckon I've developed a bit of a knack for this present-buying lark. I've had to - there are currently 22 members of the family to buy presents for, plus a further 15 friends and colleagues. Oh, and six people also have December birthdays.
Faced with that scenario, Christmas becomes a fight-or-flight ordeal.
I have done all my Christmas shopping for 2005, but please don't hate me. I didn't start ridiculously early and I didn't have a limitless budget or time. I just hit the shops at around 5pm on Friday, December 2 and kept going in a focused manner until the same time on Sunday, December 4 (breaking for meals and bedrest, obviously.)
Two days are sufficient to get the job done. Let go of your panic and your guilt. Spending weeks agonising over gifts doesn't mean they will be appreciated any more deeply. You have just as much chance to make the right decisions today as you did back in September.
Over the next 48 hours, you can easily fit in three or four different shopping locations. In my case, this was a large department store (Debenhams), a quality shopping street (Marylebone High Street) and a destination shop or two (Graham & Green, Harvey Nichols, Korres).
Good Christmas shopping takes planning, discipline and creativity. Next year, you might want to give yourself a little more time to prepare. But, hey, if I can "gift" 43 people in two days, so can you. Here's how.
1 Make a list
Preferably on the computer, so you can easily update it after each foray or change of idea. Three columns - name of recipient, gift idea and budget. Print off two copies of the list to take with you on each shopping day and keep them in separate places - it's all too easy to lose.
2 Budget
As Scrooge-like as this feels, you've simply got to budget, especially if your recipient list is as long as mine. You should be able to find a good gift for £15. If you stick to this in the main, you can still afford to splurge on special people. Avoid overspending and racking up the credit - it'll hit you with a vengeance.
3 Stick to what you know
Just as Nigella says you shouldn't attempt an untried recipe for a dinner party, I think it's wise to avoid doing Christmas shopping in new and unfamiliar shops. If you stick, mostly, to shops you like and regularly use, you have the instant advantages of knowing the layout, the stock and its value.
4 Take the mobile with you
But strictly for outgoing calls only. You don't want to be distracted by incoming stress or gossip, but you might want the opportunity to phone a friend or member of the family to ask for some important piece of information. I find this especially useful in attempting to remember the current ages of my nieces and nephews (vital for clothes purchases).
5 Don't self-gift
This requires Zen-like discipline. Once you've opened up the wallet and started throwing money around, it's hard to resist giving yourself a treat. I'm all in favour of buying presents for myself, but leave it as a reward for completing The Big Shop. Better yet, make a list of your favourite potential purchases and then drop none-too-subtle hints.
6 Shop solo
Shopping can be a leisure activity, but not during The Big Shop. If you're chatting, you aren't focusing on the job in hand. You might think that your best friend will offer helpful opinions but, in reality, you'll find yourself dragged off-list into stores that hold no promise for you. In addition, we all have different shopping stamina. If you're an Olympian, why should you have to stop because she needs another coffee?
7 Blitz the B list
We all know that within The Big Shop, there are some presents you have to buy for family, friends and colleagues who are not that close. Don't take risks - save time and energy by keeping it generic.
Few women will turn up their nose at a good-quality scented candle in a glass. Similarly, most men will gratefully receive a good bottle of wine - £15 will cover either option. You'll be buying several of each and you'll be saving precious time.
8 Spend the stockings
We all know that Father Christmas takes care of the stockings for children, so that's out of our hands. But, should you feel tempted to fill an adult stocking, think carefully. Either set a rigorous budget - no more than £3 per item and a maximum of 20 items - or focus instead on, say, eight indulgent gifts, supplemented by the "bargain classics"- a satsuma, walnut and chocolate coins.
9 Make it easy on yourself
You need all your energy focused on The Big Shop. So, budget in a taxi or five to avoid wasting time and energy on public transport. Better yet, shop locally - if you are weighed down with plunder, you can get it home, refuel and start again.
10 Wrap it up
Good wrapping seduces the recipient even before they glimpse the gift underneath. In general, it's hip to be square so, if your gift is an odd shape, invest in a box. When it comes to paper, I've done expensive and I've done cheap - I've even done free tissue paper from a greengrocer. But I won't compromise on ribbon. It costs more but looks great and is quick to tie. Allow a metre per average sized gift. Even better, if the shop will gift-wrap purchases for nothing, let them do it.
11 Theme it
If you're really in a panic, go into just one shop and give everyone the same thing. One year, I bought every adult friend and family member wine - either a single bottle or two for a couple. I arrived at Le Vigneron, where I was guided in my choices by the expert Adrian, but stayed well within budget. I bought enough wooden gift boxes to recycle into an ark and had the whole lot delivered to my home. The plus is you can do this to suit any budget.
12 Buy a few spares
There are always colleagues who give you a gift unexpectedly, or friends you weren't expecting to see who invite you for a drink. I've got a spare perfume atomiser, some mulled wine bundles and mini mince-pies, some Ayuverdic teas and Muji's cute origami sheets stashed away as little extras in case of surprises.
Happy shopping!
The Good Gift Guide
