The Good Gift Guide
A family Valentines Day
Valentines Day can come from the heart instead of the wallet. And perhaps more surprisingly, the holiday does not need to be the exclusive domain of starry-eyed couples. The entire family can embrace this holiday and each other.
After all of the hustle and bustle of the Holiday Season and the endless spending on toys and gadgets, perhaps each family should take some time to create the kind of memories that get pinned up on the wall for eternity.
It does not matter who makes up the family unit, whether its one parent, two parents, uncles, aunts, grandparents, friends, children or pets, it is about who is important to you. No gifts necessary, just meaningful, well thought-out gestures and sincere moments of caring.
As a Child Development Specialist, character education expert and founder of the innovative online family resource, PowerfulFamily.com, Robyn Silverman, PhD, offers insight on what makes for a special family Valentine’s Day:
• Make it home-made: We all know we have enough stuff from the stores. How about setting a budget for supplies and having everyone make something for each family member? Woodworkers can whittle and aspiring chefs can create a gourmet meal. Artists can draw, paint, sew, knit, make jewelry, or stain glass.
• Take the time: No need for anything fancy. Your family wants your attention! It could be spent simply snuggling up to watch a movie or sitting at the dinner table talking about things that really matter to everyone. It is about listening and asking and enjoying. It’s about shutting off the cell phone and taking a break from the computer. This does not mean that it should be “all about the children.” It should be about the family and the value of each and every family member.
• Say the words: Valentine’s Day can be a great time to say the words that we often forget to say. This may relate to a simple “I love you,” or perhaps an apology, words of comfort, expressions of respect or admiration, or a meaningful promise. Words should come from the heart without strings attached or expectations of a return declaration. And, perhaps it goes without saying - these admissions should not be forced, since that would make them empty and meaningless. Speak plainly and truthfully and attempt to make up for any lost time due to misunderstandings, chaotic jobs, or schoolwork that sometimes makes life roll on without notice.
• Celebrate: Birthdays celebrate the individual and holidays celebrate religion, heritage or patriotism. Make Valentines Day a time to celebrate the family. Praise the triumphs and the challenges as well as the strength of the family bond. Play games and laugh. You can even have a party! Invite the people who you really care about and let them know they are important to you.
• Commemorate your family commitment: What kind of family do you aspire to be? Let everyone answer this question. Perhaps words such as “respectful,” “courteous,” “loving,” “trustworthy,” and “thoughtful” come to mind. Take out a piece of paper and write down a pledge of love and commitment to the family. Have everyone sign it. Place it in an area of importance so that everyone reads it each day. After all, it is the love, not the gifts that get you through the tough spots.
According to Dr. Robyn, “Refocusing the family on the things that count after the gift-giving frenzy has died down is imperative to the soul of the family. But more importantly, your family’s knowledge of how each person feels about each other can be a gift unto itself. Perhaps it does not seem life changing, but ask the person who has never felt valued by his family, and you will discover, that is actually is.”
After all of the hustle and bustle of the Holiday Season and the endless spending on toys and gadgets, perhaps each family should take some time to create the kind of memories that get pinned up on the wall for eternity.
It does not matter who makes up the family unit, whether its one parent, two parents, uncles, aunts, grandparents, friends, children or pets, it is about who is important to you. No gifts necessary, just meaningful, well thought-out gestures and sincere moments of caring.
As a Child Development Specialist, character education expert and founder of the innovative online family resource, PowerfulFamily.com, Robyn Silverman, PhD, offers insight on what makes for a special family Valentine’s Day:
• Make it home-made: We all know we have enough stuff from the stores. How about setting a budget for supplies and having everyone make something for each family member? Woodworkers can whittle and aspiring chefs can create a gourmet meal. Artists can draw, paint, sew, knit, make jewelry, or stain glass.
• Take the time: No need for anything fancy. Your family wants your attention! It could be spent simply snuggling up to watch a movie or sitting at the dinner table talking about things that really matter to everyone. It is about listening and asking and enjoying. It’s about shutting off the cell phone and taking a break from the computer. This does not mean that it should be “all about the children.” It should be about the family and the value of each and every family member.
• Say the words: Valentine’s Day can be a great time to say the words that we often forget to say. This may relate to a simple “I love you,” or perhaps an apology, words of comfort, expressions of respect or admiration, or a meaningful promise. Words should come from the heart without strings attached or expectations of a return declaration. And, perhaps it goes without saying - these admissions should not be forced, since that would make them empty and meaningless. Speak plainly and truthfully and attempt to make up for any lost time due to misunderstandings, chaotic jobs, or schoolwork that sometimes makes life roll on without notice.
• Celebrate: Birthdays celebrate the individual and holidays celebrate religion, heritage or patriotism. Make Valentines Day a time to celebrate the family. Praise the triumphs and the challenges as well as the strength of the family bond. Play games and laugh. You can even have a party! Invite the people who you really care about and let them know they are important to you.
• Commemorate your family commitment: What kind of family do you aspire to be? Let everyone answer this question. Perhaps words such as “respectful,” “courteous,” “loving,” “trustworthy,” and “thoughtful” come to mind. Take out a piece of paper and write down a pledge of love and commitment to the family. Have everyone sign it. Place it in an area of importance so that everyone reads it each day. After all, it is the love, not the gifts that get you through the tough spots.
According to Dr. Robyn, “Refocusing the family on the things that count after the gift-giving frenzy has died down is imperative to the soul of the family. But more importantly, your family’s knowledge of how each person feels about each other can be a gift unto itself. Perhaps it does not seem life changing, but ask the person who has never felt valued by his family, and you will discover, that is actually is.”
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