Valentine’s Day Myth: If You Love Me, You’ll Read My Mind

Here comes Valentine’s Day, the hands-down winner for producing the biggest disappointments of the whole year.

Do you cross your fingers and hope your sweetheart will surprise you with that special gift or candle-lit dinner or romantic getaway you yearn for?

Sometimes it even seems to turn into a "test" with your partner flunking because you didn’t let them in on the rules.

And once again do you get disappointed?

On Valentine’s Day, the value of your relationship might be tied up in a gift. And just because you were careful to drop a hint big enough to trip over, it doesn’t mean your sweetie gets it.

Subtle hints aren’t working. Obvious hints aren’t working either. Try saying it directly: "Here’s what I’d really like for Valentines Day — a card from you, and dinner at our special restaurant."

Especially on Valentine's Day, unstated wishes and unrealistic expectations are set-ups for disappointment. And we know all too well how disappointments and misunderstandings can lead to anger and resentment.

And resentment can ruin any relationship. Think about how much space resentment takes up. It doesn’t leave much room for connection, respect and intimacy.

Relationship coach Dr. Elayne Savage shows how to make this Valentine’s Day a success by avoiding these kinds of misunderstandings and disappointments.

7 sure-fire ways to a Happy Valentine’s Day:

-1 Stop crossing your fingers and hoping your sweetie will read your mind. Try using clear communication to convey what you yearn for.

-2 Keep your Valentine’s expectations realistic and do-able. Otherwise, it’s a set up for disappointment.

-3 Remind yourself that you both grew up in different families with different styles of gift giving.

–4 Don’t mistake "not thinking" for "not caring." Your partner’s way of approaching this day may be different from yours.

–5 Ask yourself if the value of your relationship is tied up in a gift. Hopefully it isn't.

–6 Don’t try to be too “creative” in your gift giving. Just be you and be sincere. On the other hand, Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be an “afterthought” either.

–7 AND don’t take it personally – dwelling takes up way too much energy and relationship space. Leave space for connection and intimacy.